Selfish isn’t Self-Love
Really? I always thought self-love was the same as being conceited. In fact, when I was a kid, I would hear people say she or he loves themselves too much, which usually translated to...what a jerk!
Given this, is there any wonder why a person with this early belief would not think embracing the attributes of self-love would signal selfishness. Truthfully, as a young and not so young person, I had this misconception, so anytime I started feeling high on myself, hopefully for positive reasons, I would quickly dial those feelings down, and with that missing an opportunity to really feel good about myself rather than being critical or just feeling blah.
OK Victor, I get it but why is self-love so important? Great question. Let's take a look.
As family caregivers it is so important that self-care is a must priority in your life. However, to truly practice this, I believe it is best to go one layer deeper. I believe, for self-care to become embedded in your day-to-day life there needs to be a deeper belief that says you must have a healthy appreciation and respect for yourself. This doesn't mean you are perfect, but that you value your worth and have kindness and compassion for yourself. Read this again, close your eyes and experience how good this fits and feels. These are attributes of self-love.
With the belief of self-love and the understanding and acceptance about your value, taking care of your physical, mental and emotional health (self-care) becomes a bedrock practice that you truly deserve. Self-love and self-care work hand in hand.
Here are examples of self-love practices:
Setting healthy personal boundaries
Learning to say no
Prioritizing your must needs without guilt
Being as kind to yourself as you are with others
Respect and live your values
Beginning today, commit to paying close attention to your personal stories and limiting beliefs. Challenge those beliefs not aligned with your values and move forward to create a better, more empowering personal story.
Here are a few thoughts to help get you started:
Identify Your Story-What are your reoccurring thoughts and patterns. What is the current personal story you are telling yourself and what triggers appear to initiate this story.
Challenge Your Story's Truth-Listen to your inner voice. Ask yourself, does this story truly reflect my values and beliefs? What evidence supports and contradicts this?
Creating a New Story-With more objective insight, begin replacing your limiting beliefs with more realistic and empowering ones and build a new story that aligns with who you are today. Remember your story is yours and only yours!
Live Your New Story-Begin living in alignment with your new story and beliefs. Understand, initially this may feel a bit uncomfortable, which is OK. Think of how long you have been on auto pilot living with your limiting inner voice.
There is an old story of a tourist in New York City asking a New Yorker how to get to Carnegie Hall? His response... practice, practice, practice.
Embrace and enjoy your new story with self-love being a bedrock belief and value! Your deserve it!
Help yourself. Help others.
